♥ Thursday, May 29, 2008
Stop putting all the blames on us for what had happened...
Why don't you figure out the reason why on earth is this happening? You said we never tell you what exactly happened in our lives, what problems do we have? But the question is, do you ever care or want to listen at all?
Each time when i want to talk to you, it is either that you don't want to talk to me at all, or you are always talking about other things that won't involve me. If i start to intercept what you say, you will say that i am rude, and should not interrupt. You never have the patience to listen to me at all. So, it will most probably end up with you lecturing me before i am finished, having cold wars etc..
It is always the case that you don't want me to talk to you about my life and expect me to be the ready-made punching bag for you whenever you feel irritated and also expect me to shoulder all the blames for most of the things that happened. I am a human too. I have my own feelings and emotions too.
Have you even cared for how i feel at all? I am really, really sick and tired of my life.
Sometimes i even doubt the existence of myself. Should i be in this world at all?
♥ Filmstrip Love @ 16:47
♥ Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Counting down the days to my holidays...
But this holiday is not for plainly enjoyment. It's also for PROJECTS, PROJECTS AND PROJECTS, TESTS, TESTS AND TESTS. And of course, our class BBQ!!!
I really must buck up this year. This is the final year for me!!! I definitely don't wish to repeat any of the modules!!!
JiaYou!! =P
2 more schooldays...
♥ Filmstrip Love @ 16:01
♥ Saturday, May 24, 2008
OMG!!! It's already week 6 since school starts!!! And it seems as though i have done nothing at all, don't understand most of the things that i learnt, as though no accomplishment at all. Oops, do i sound like xiao ming? Haha.
But there is no point denying it. I really don't know what i have been doing during the past 6 weeks. Can anyone tell me? I really have to start to buck up and start studying. (Although i don't know when that is going to happen. Haha.)
At least there is something for me to look forward to. Holidays is coming. And we have a class BBQ. Let's hope that this one will be successful and not like the previous time. =P
♥ Filmstrip Love @ 16:04
♥ Friday, May 23, 2008
I met up with linna today!!! It's been such a long long time since i saw her. Of course, she is getting prettier and prettier, and it's still the plain old me.
We went far east to shop for her formal clothing and had a great and full lunch there too. But it was her treat, and when i want to return her the money, she don't want. I don't care, next time we meet up, it's going to be my turn to treat you. Haha..
And we forgot one very important thing. We never take pictures!!!
But, Lin Na, it was really good to meet up with you. Love you. =P
♥ Filmstrip Love @ 16:55
♥ Monday, May 19, 2008
♥ Filmstrip Love @ 21:16
Finished watching Er Zuo Ju 2 Wen(It Started With A Kiss 2). The show was pretty touching although the ending was quite lame.
My tears will always come down by themselves when i am watching some touching show. Is it because i am too emotional? It's so easy to make me laugh, and of course to make me cry. Or is it that i have too much water in my eyes, they need to find a way out?
Sometimes crying out will make a person feel better by letting out all the emotions through the tears. But there's something for sure, crying will not solve problems for us. It just relieve our stress and let us face the problem more clearly.
There are always times when i really feel like crying. But just like always, i can only hide in my bed, hug my bear bear and let my tears just flow down without a sound. That is all i can do.
♥ Filmstrip Love @ 00:07
♥ Sunday, May 18, 2008
I got my nokia 6500 slide.. Wahaha.. So happy.. Hees.. Finally owned a phone that really belong to me and not the castaways of others.. =P
♥ Filmstrip Love @ 23:38
♥ Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Do you remember what is life like when you are just a kid? The times when you can just get through most of the troubles by just using your tears, the times when you do not have to worry about anything, the times when you can just simply enjoy your life being pampered by your parents.
For me, i can't remember much of my child life. What i remembered clearly was that when i was really young, i always wanted to follow my brother where ever he goes.
As i grow older, i can't help being more and more insecure in life. People tell me that the more bear bear you have, it proves the more insecure you feel. As for me, i have more than 10 bear bear(big and small) in my room, does it mean that i am really insecure? I would say the answer is yes.
Why is that so? If you have tried being me, you will understand. Always facing the same 4 walls alone at home, it is as though living in a world of your own.
The process of growing up also creates many problems: financial, emotions etc.
Money is a requirement if you want to survive in this world. But, coincidentally, it is also the thing that i am most lack of. Why must money be the essential thing in this world? But sometimes, life is not complete with just money alone, it has to be completed with emotions like love. I'm sure people would not want to live in a loveless life forever, only loving and caring for himself and not others.
Emotions? Meeting the right person at the right place is difficult. But meet the wrong person at the right place is easy. Even if you managed to meet the person, have you ever thought of what you are going to say to him? You will not want to be so direct and scare him off right? So, you will not only have to meet the right person at the right place, you will also need to say the right things at the right moment too.
As days go by, worries and stress will only seem to increase, and not decrease. There are really times when i wish that i can just leave everything behind and enjoy my life, just like a child.
But, i know, it's impossible.
♥ Filmstrip Love @ 17:24
♥ Sunday, May 4, 2008
Have you ever felt that you are invisible before?? I did. And the most funny thing is that i felt that i am invisible at home. In my own house. What a joke right.
Taking cab with them was just like taking the cab by myself. No conservation made at all. Even if i tried to strike a conversation, all i get back was some naggings from her. To tell the truth, i don't remember there was a time when we could have a talk together peacefully at all. Most of time, when she talk to me, it would mostly be blaming me for the things that i have never done, blaming me for the things that are spoilt even if it is not done by me, naggings and concern(but always not for me, for another person).
The most ridiculous thing is that we can don't exchange a sentence at all for one day even if we stay in the same house. Don't you think it's ridiculous?
Sometimes i am really envious of those that had a close relationships with their family. But i know that for me, it is going to be impossible. So, i better don't think so much. Just lead my life as usual.
♥ Filmstrip Love @ 22:05
